Thursday, April 30, 2009

WTF? $1.75 KERN'S

So I paid $1.75 for a can of Kern's today ..........................................(tumbleweed even stops from shock). I think this calls for an appropriate and exclusive use of, "I know, right?". So I checked to see if there was anything special about the can, answers to my math test inside, transforms into a kaleidoscope, but nothing! Turns out that the prices of goods have gone up if they are Swine Flu free! just kidding, that would suck.

Lately, my backyard gate has been highly entertaining. It started to learn English and only speaks when I let it swing shut. Instead of going back and deleting what I wrote, I'm going to acknowledge that I said "started to learn English" as if it speaks other languages; I guess it did sound French before that, "oh-hoh-hoh". Every time I walk through it, it says "Shortieeee" in the manner of a rapper hollering at a big booty girl ( Maybe it's calling me short, but it can't be, because I'm taller than the gate, so it has to have heard the rap music blasting from the neighbor across the street.

I am currently at the library right now and on the rare occassions that I am at one, I like to play the, where's-that-strange-sound-coming-from, game. I often hear someone sleeping and so I purposely get up to confirm it, only to find out it's some Korean guy with a breathing problem, damn.

I've been running a lot lately. My favorite types of runs are Trader Joe's runs............(tumbleweed's shaking his head). Last time I was at TJ's, I was very excited to re-experience the white cheddar Unburied Treasure corn puffs, only to find a Korean guy with a breathing problem, but seriously, they were sold out! I first tasted the White Cheddar puffs with the corn puff hogging sisters in Virginia, Lara and Rana.

Side Note: They call their dad, "Baba", and mom, "Mama"; noticing the "_a_a" trend going?

Anyways, the eating rate with those things are uncontrallable, so becareful. I settled with their Sour Cream and Caca version, which wasn't as good (too much caca).

I'm off to Trader Joe's!
(one hour later)

Guitar Queer-o

I know I'm going end up sounding like the many who complain about crappy music, but I'd rather complain about it than listen to it. Rap is too easy to make fun of, country obviously blows, but it's the guitar playing pop dudes that somehow go unnoticed.

They all sound the same. They all use that "cute" raspy voice that doesn't require any vocal talent. The guitar playing is simple, yet effective amongst weak minds, and they're all dressed by the same wardrobe lady. As soon as one of these whiny guitar songs come on, I think, "this is either Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, David Cook, Dashboard Confessionals or Russel Crow getting his nuts stuck on his zipper".

Jazon Mraz, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, David Cook, Dashboard, Russel Crow's nuts all learned how to make it from this video:

*blog title taken from a south park episode title

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Perfect Boyfriend

When it comes to relationships and finding a good match, there are always expected essential qualities needed in that person you're looking for, like they must have a sense of humor, be smart, be polite, etc., but what about the specific qualities that you're not prepared for?

I started my relationship with Lara unaware that there were some distinct expectations that I had to meet to be her perfect match and luckily I was able to unknowingly fulfill them.

Distinct Expectation #1 - Ability to handle raw meat with my bare hands.

Yuck!!! Ewwwwww!!!

Distinct Expectation #2 - Killing insects for her


Hurry insect! Run before Lara sees you alive. RUN!!!

Normal Expectation #3 - Always willing to listen

No problemo

That's so bullshit! I shot him first!

hmm...maybe I shouldn't have posted every picture.

Ninja Turtles vs. The Terminator

I was about nine and I remember hiding under the dinner table with the over-sized tablecloth that was long enough to shut me out from the adults so I can play with my toys. I felt safe, invincible, and for some reason, inaudible. I'm sure my parents snickered every time they heard my awesome explosion sounds emulated by my lips and saliva bubbles. What I heard was completely different; I heard strong heavy punches and kicks, glass shattering, bones breaking, lava oozing with bursting bubbles of fire, and the manliest voices for all my characters. My characters had to be from a different planet, for I did not have a consistent line of toys; A typical battle would consist of a mutated turtle and a robotic terminator from the year 2029.

I tried to look for a photo of one of my favorite He-Man toys that I "borrowed" from my older brother, but had no luck finding it. A word of advice, don't google image search "he-man blue", because you'll end up seeing a picture of skeletor boning he-man.

I never got tired of creating new storylines, placing the characters in new settings (ie backyard, parents' room, bathtub with WATER!), and my favorite, switching a character from good to evil and vice versa. My childhood was simple and as I like to believe, imaginative.

Oh the memories :)

[Star Wars figures provided by Mandy Wong as a birthday gift :) ]

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Thank You for Yawning

Too many times have I started to write my initial blog post only to end up napping in bed. Hmm...I actually got sleepy there. This will be my introduction post and hopefully it will encourage me to write more, since starting is the hardest part.

(20 minutes later after waking up from my nap)

I just made some Vietnamese styled coffee to wake my Vietnamese ass up...wait, I'm not Vietnamese.

I'm not sure how to build an audience outside of my friends on facebook and myspace, so if you know, please leave me my very first comment :)

I will leave you with a picture of me yawning and hopefully in return, you will yawn. thank you for yawning.